Life Challenges

What life challenges do you face? Isn’t it easy to get caught up in your own battles?  There are always other people that have greater burdens to bear but that doesn’t really lift the load from your own shoulders.

Recently, I was feeling completely overwhelmed, unable to even lift my sword to fight the immense number of dragons soaring just above my head, not even able to devise a creative battle plan to take them on one at a time.  Nope.  My mind, spirit and heart were completely overcome.  It was just a matter of time before the whole scaly group would descend and pick my bones clean.  It was easier to crawl into a coffin of my choice and just give up.  There is the key “easier”.  Sometimes you feel just too exhausted to fight, so overcome by the shadows, that your motivation to live is gone.  So what makes my world so challenging?

I live in a broken world.  My husband has had back surgery and hip replacement surgery in the past year which has been a blessing to relieve pain but also a financial burden.  He is now facing another surgery to replace his knee.  In the meantime he limps around on a cane seeing how long he can stand it before he goes under the knife.  More medical bills.

My 25 year old son has been debilitated for four years by chronic pain, a long list of physical problems and depression along with anxiety.   He lives with us and I manage his medication and doctor appointments.   He has faced the challenge to decide to live with his debilitation rather than commit suicide, which had been a consideration for a couple of years.  Recent treatments that have begun to help, counseling and medications are frankly a burden we carry with no reservation because he is precious and valuable.

I have recently finished a stint in care giving for both my mother in law and mother who lived with us over the last 6-9 years.  One died of cancer and the other suffered dementia with a multitude of health complications.  Both are now safe at home in Heaven with Jesus.  I no longer have to worry about the hundred things it took to love and care for them in their failing health.  What I didn’t realize was that the relief from the demands of care giving, would be replaced with intense grief.  There is no short cut in the grief journey even when you know God’s love and the comfort of knowing, you will see your loved ones again.

The house we live in belonged to my mother in law and now to my husband and his two brothers.  His brothers have been amazingly kind to us as we struggled nursing my Mom in our house.  They have waited patiently, at sacrifice to themselves, to close the estate that will require us to move.  I have my piano teaching business in our home which requires us to stay in the proximity, unless I want to lose my students.  We have to purge the 3450 sq. ft. house of so much “stuff”, find a home that we can afford that fits our needs and move in the near future.  I am challenged with fibromyalgia, rotater cuff injury, painful arthritis in lower back, elbow, knee, hands and neck.  My Asthma, makes working in dusty areas an invitation for breathing difficulties.  I wonder how all this is going to happen.  I have moved many times in my adult life.  I know how to move but I am not sure how to handle this and my teaching job.  We can no longer afford to pay for help as in the past.

The house we live in is broken too.  The roof needs replacing to qualify for loans.  It is a shake roof with no plywood underneath which escalates the cost to between $20,000-30,000.  The stove is broken, the plumbing needs repairs… the list goes on.

I have procrastinated closing my mother’s estate because it makes me cry.  Simple as that.  I am a wimp.  I have to close it and pay the final taxes which will pretty much wipe out what is left.  I am glad she had the money from her house sale to make sure she lived in comfort the last year of her life.  I don’t cry for the money just for everything that reminds me of how much I miss my Mom.

I have taxes to pay on our house and income taxes to file.  I feel overwhelmed with the paperwork.  I need my ROCK.  The ONE that will give me new perspective.  Nothing is too BIG for God.

Hear my cry oh God
Hear my cry oh God
Attend unto my prayer

From the ends of the earth
From the ends of the earth
Will I cry unto thee

When my heart is overwhelmed
When my heart is overwhelmed
Lead me to that rock
Lead me to that rock
That is higher than I

For Thou has been
For Thou has been
A shelter for me

A mighty strong tower
From the enemy

When my heart is overwhelmed
When my heart is overwhelmed
Lead me to that Rock
Lead me to that Rock
That is higher than I

Lead me to that rock

Lead me to that rock
That is higher is higher than I

SONGWRITERS
BUTCH HEYWARD

faith

When we trust God to help us fight the giant dragons, His strength overcomes our fears and He leads us to victory!

Joshua is our example of trust and courage.

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